Let’s walk further in the footsteps of an abuse survivor

If you have already watched the above video then this update is aftermath of it:

In an honest moment after a terrifying day that almost threw out 6½ years (exactly 6 years 6 months and 23 days as of today), all our efforts, and even put us at more risk than if we didn’t have a divorce at all with the protective order, I broke down. I had fought, canceled work to deal with a hearing I wasn’t even informed was happening, and got the attorney to see that wording required me to inform our stalker of every move, and give him access to our medical accounts, AT PENALTY OF CRIMINAL CHARGES.

This has to stop. I have nothing left to fight with (money, favors, energy or time) but we have to push this across the finish line. I always put forward my composed image, as in court showing emotion is perceived as instability.

Crazy would be not having raw emotions to what threatens your child’s very safety and your freedom to stop having to fight.

Before the protective order had even been served a trauma for my daughter Sophitia caused me so much pain because there was nothing I could do to right the wrong of injustice, or restore her body, mind, childhood or faith in humanity.

When the day is so hard, when it hurts and when you are choosing to be a peaceful warrior (especially for your children, parent, life partner) looking outward when the life is around and before you it’s important.

Don’t ONLY look inward. God has so much more to show you then darkness of fiery pain that burns itself into the screen if left on too long.

See the birds, the wind in the leaves, the lizards, hear your child laugh despite all concerns and learn from your littlest guru that it does not betray your loyal quest to be in the present moment even the smiles .

A touch of nature to ground you….when you have to do it scared.

When you have to do it scared, take out your tools and apply liberally. I get mine from nature mostly, breath practice, sometimes a momento from my child or left by my grandmother (the amethyst).

I find a lot of peace in nature, so when I had to do it anyway, scared, shattered really, trembling, I took a moment to get aligned with creation and Creator.

Then I took the mica, my grandmother’s amethyst, leaves and petals and I placed them like decorations at work, and I saw them and held them to help me stay with that peace.

If you’re wondering, Im taking this to work with me today.

Asian Maple

my childhood favorite rock,

and the pink flowers that grow outside my window even into the cold. Most have fallen, but they’re still soft and pretty, and they’ll be back. I look forward to it.

Now I look at today. I go to work.

A part of me waits

but not afraid

…just for their usual not doing what the judge ordered,

what WE moved everything to do. They drag their feet…

sullen children.

I dont have to care. It is done.

Ill confirm when I receive the word.

But today what I carry is certainty, freedom, Love.

Also

Videos and context pending.

Find what gives you peace

Still four months after the verdict we don’t have a signed written decree that grants any legal enforcement or protection.

it seems like we’ll have to buy court record and go to Texas to file report and motion seeking oversight or immediate remedy. This affects practical matters everyday.

And so I continue walking and ask for your help, help to be free, help to experience justice after nearly 7 years of “Just LEAV”ing . Help One of Us Survive Escaping. My youngest asked “Can’t I just enjoy the last sliver of childhood that I have left?”. Help me end this forever walk home!